A man was driving too fast on a hilly country road. On one side of the road was farmland. On the other, an exotic wildlife reserve. Over the crest of the next hill, a duck flew onto the road to catch a lizard. Down a little way further, a pig came out of the field and began to cross the road. As the car came over the hilltop, the man swerved to avoid the duck, struck the pig a glancing blow, then careened off the road, through the fence into the wildlife preserve. The car bounced to a stop in front of an elephant who was not amused by this rude interruption and charged the car. The man survived the ordeal, but when it came time to renew his insurance, no one would sell him a policy.
Awkward Moments
We’ve all been in them; those uncomfortable situations when something is misunderstood and there seems to be no graceful way to recover. We’ve crossed some social boundary and may not even know exactly what happened. Add a characteristic that makes you different in some way from those around you and the opportunities for misunderstanding multiply. It’s important for us to remember in those moments that we’re not the only one who’s in an uncomfortable situation. More often than I would like, I wish I could go back and handle the situation better.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to walk to the Starbuck’s a mile from my house. I had just come off of an all-night software installation at work and wanted to stay awake and not get off-schedule. Maybe that is my excuse. The place was crowded. The line stretched around the back of the room, and I couldn’t find the end of it. That was my first interaction with the lady. I didn’t know her. She didn’t fit the image one might have of a typical barista at Starbuck’s, but because she approached me while I was near the front counter trying to get my bearings, I thought she worked there. I let her help me find the end of the line.
After I placed my order, I moved to the general area where pickups would be made and waited. There did not appear to be any place to sit and I was content to put off that quest until after I had coffee and breakfast in hand. They called the breakfast items out and I went up to get them. Again the helpful lady appeared and assisted me in finding the items I ordered. There were so many people I can only hope that I didn’t actually pick up items meant for someone who was ahead of me.
I kept waiting for the coffee order. I kept waiting for the coffee order. I kept waiting for the coffee order. Finally Ms helpful lady appeared again and asked me what I ordered. Still thinking she worked there, I told her, and then I kept waiting for the coffee order. When she approached me again, it finally became apparent to me that she was just another customer trying to be helpful. At this point I should have taken control of the situation, but she was trying to be helpful and rather than add to the awkwardness of the whole thing further I just let her go back up and ask on my behalf.
I eventually got my coffee, but then it got worse. There were no open tables. I didn’t know this for sure but I knew that if there were any they would not be easy to find, so I let the woman guide me to a chair. The trouble was, it was not at an empty table. The woman already seated there told us someone was coming to join her. At this point I am trying to bow out gracefully, but Ms helpful isn’t done yet. The table where she was trying to seat me was the high table meant to accommodate wheelchairs. The empty chair being spoken for, she grabbed one from another table, moved it to the occupied table, and insisted that since it was meant for handicapped people I could sit there.
This is where I messed up. Some people seem to be uneducable, but I should have at least tried. She did mean well. Instead, I bolted. I hit the front door and found myself a table outside. No one benefited from that exchange. Ms. Helpful was probably offended and confused. Who knows what the young lady at the table thought about the whole thing?
I tell this story for two reasons. I hope it serves as an instructional aid for those who really want to be helpful, but need a little guidance as to how to do it best. Put yourself in the other person’s place. Don’t assume you know what they need. Ask them. In this woman’s defense, she did ask at a couple of points during our interaction. Where she really went wrong was at the end. She was going to get me a chair regardless of what I or anyone else affected thought about it. The awkwardness of the situation for me didn’t occur to her.
There is also a lesson for those of us on the receiving end here. It’s easy to get offended by the presumption and disrespect we sometimes get from people, but these are often teachable moments. Why not rather be delighted that they mean well and help them to do better the next time they meet someone with a need? Make a new friend and help out those whom they will meet after you.
Driving Blind (Almost)
Does every blind person have a driving story? Probably not, but it seems many of us do. I actually did drive up and down a back road a couple of times once, but that’s not the story I’m going to tell. I’ve started using the term, “blind”, because it’s just easier, but I do have some useable vision. I travel with a cain and it does help, but I can and sometimes do go without when it is more of a hindrance, such as when I need my hands for something else. At those times I do have it on my belt. It took me many years to learn that it was better for me to have it than not for the benefit of those around me. It lets them know that I might not see them. I might not know that they’re talking to me. I won’t see a wave from across the room. I might run into them. I might be forgiven a traffic violation or two…or not. Thus begins my story.
On a quiet neighborhood street, I can, or at least I once could, safely ride a bicycle. I used to have one and I used it to and from campus while in school and for errands. A moped, however, is a different matter. You couldn’t convince me of that in my younger days. I couldn’t wait to get some kind of motorized conveyance, and as soon as I could scrape together enough money, I had it. I still marvel that my dad helped me do it, but I’m sure he knew it would be better to help me do it right since I was going to do it anyway. A couple of initial wrecks didn’t slow me down, and soon I had it with me on campus. I’ll probably never know how many times I put myself or others in danger. I can only conclude that God was protecting me. Eventually the school forced me to stop using it on campus and I sold it.
I was at the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville. Near the campus was a wooded hill with a trail that went to the top. I used to go up there and sit. Sometimes I would just sit there. Other times I would study for class. On one beautiful Fall morning I decided to take my study materials and go up there, so I loaded up the basket on the back of my moped and headed out.
As I turned off the two-lane highway south of the campus, I heard the siren. As far as I can remember and surprisingly so now that I think about it, that was only one of two times I was pulled over. I think this was the first, but I knew it was for me. I’ve read that a blind person cannot walk a straight line. I’m not at all sure that’s true, but one thing is true for me. I cannot ride a straight line. There’s always a little correction one way or the other as I notice the drift. Thus I was suspected of drunk driving.
I don’t remember the questions the officer asked me. I hadn’t broken any laws. One could operate a 50cc vehicle without a license and at least while he was watching I didn’t actually break any traffic rules. I just didn’t quite drive in a straight line. What’s wrong with that? As we wrapped up our little conversation, he asked me, “What’s that in your basket?”
“That is a braille writer,” I calmly replied.
He said, “I knew that’s what it was, but I wanted to hear you say it.”
He let me go with an admonition to be careful, and I went on to my destination. No, the brashness of my actions still hadn’t hit home. It would take a few more months and some outside pressure to stop me. I wish that were the only poor decision I made at that time of my life, but those are other stories. It is something to learn from.
We like to say that we have no limitations, but everybody has limitations. Recognizing them is part of growing up. There are some things we can’t do, and lots of others we shouldn’t. The challenge for us is to turn our focus to those things we can and should do. Sometimes we need to push those limits, but be safe out there; and watch out for people like me.
We Should All Be Arrested!
I would be delighted if you could join us at Bartimaeus Baptist Temple tomorrow for services. We meet at 2:30 so you don’t even have to miss yours. What follows is the intro from my post on the church site.
This Sunday, I want to talk to you from the book of Galatians. It’s not a long book, so I urge you to read it this week. The truth is that we are all law breakers. If God had a police force, we’d all be in danger of being arrested! Not only that, but we’d be convicted and the penalty is death! But instead of sending a Heavenly hit squad, God sent His son, Jesus, to take it for us. The trouble is that we think we know better. We seem to think that if we do everything right, we’ll make the cut. Sometimes we’re so arrogant that we appoint ourselves God’s police force and try to make everyone else follow the law as we see it. Paul has some very harsh words for that kind of attitude. He also has some very encouraging words if we choose to walk with Jesus by His Holy Spirit. Come and let’s explore them together.
Me, Myself, and I
Yesterday I conducted an experiment. I was writing in my journal, which over the past fifteen years or so has become a long-running personal letter to God. It is the nature of a journal to be largely about oneself, but if it chronicles prayer, shouldn’t it represent more of Him and the things that He cares about? Yes, He cares for me, but He wants me to care for others. If all I’m thinking about is me, there seems to be a problem. As I wrote this, I did a search of my current journal file, which starts at the beginning of 2011. I looked for “I” surrounded by spaces. In 108 pages of typewritten single-spaced text, there are 4,828 matches. That’s embarrassing!
The challenge was this: could I go for a day without making any references to myself beyond that which was required for polite conversation? In short, no, I couldn’t. Try it yourself. It’s harder than you think. Personal reference is such a part of our thought life and vocabulary that cutting it out is not only difficult, it can result in language that sounds at best evasive and at worst crazy to those around you. I didn’t go around speaking in third person. That would have been adherence to the letter but not the spirit of the exercise. By the end of the day, I all but gave up the effort.
The goal of this little experiment was to help change my focus. If I could not talk about myself would I listen to others more? Would I be more likely to consider their words, thoughts and feelings? Not in one day, but a less rigid form of the exercise might make for good practice for all of us. It was in fact a wonderful day. It seemed the Lord walked with me. As I focused on worship that glorified Him, I experienced a peace and joy that is not typical for me.
Nevertheless, but the end of the day I was just as tired, irritated, and self-focused as ever. One might say the experiment failed, but not entirely. In part all that mental energy expended in choosing my words probably had the opposite of the intended effect. It caused me to focus inward even more. It hampered easy conversation with my wife, because in the absence of things to say about myself, I had less than usual to say. With her especially, I am still learning to share myself in an unselfish way.
I say not entirely because there was joy in intentionally focusing on others. I found myself doing things I’m usually too self-conscious to do. I began to learn a new way of thinking. I learned a little more about the intentional practice of putting others first. I have a long way to go, but I know I’m not alone. It’s a struggle we all face to one degree or another. Look at what Jesus said.
… “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. 25 For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” (Matt 16:24-25 NASB)
Selfishness comes naturally. Following Jesus requires us to deny our selfish desires and love Him with everything we have. We do that while we are here primarily by loving others. See Matthew 25:35-40. I’ve taken one tiny step on a lifelong journey. Won’t you come with me? It’s not easy, but the reward at the end is unspeakably wonderful!
True Love is Tough
I usually speak on the 3rd and 5th Sundays at Bartimaeus Baptist Temple, 6929 Day St. in Dallas at 2:30pm. It seems the third Sunday really came up fast this month. It’s been a busy week at work and we have commitments to keep, but God gave me this message a couple of weeks ago. Nothing takes Him by surprise.
Our society teaches us to tolerate just about anything. Not only are we to tolerate it, but we are to embrace it. This attitude has crept into our churches. In the genuine desire to show love and acceptance to all, we look the other way in the presence of sinful behavior. Is that what Jesus meant by not judging? What do we think of parents who do that with their children? What kind of children do they usually turn out to be? We are supposed to love the sinner. We were all sinners saved by His blood and we still fight the battles. Church should be a place where the sinner is welcome, but it should never be a place where sin is condoned. That is going to make sinners uncomfortable at times. They may respond by repenting or they may run away. We must not be afraid to speak the truth.
When we look the other way in the presence of sin, we are not acting in love. It’s possible for our hearts to be in the right place, but our actions are out of step with our motivation. If you saw a child about to go into traffic, would you turn away because you don’t want to judge him for his choices? Sometimes our motives are not so pure. We don’t want to get involved. We don’t want to make trouble or put ourselves at risk. We’d never admit it, but our actions suggest we’d rather the child get run over than risk getting run over ourselves. We can’t claim to be a loving church unless we’re willing to do the tough things that love sometimes requires.
11 Deliver those who are being taken away to death,
And those who are staggering to slaughter, Oh hold them back.
12 If you say, “See, we did not know this,”
Does He not consider it who weighs the hearts?
And does He not know it who keeps your soul?
And will He not render to man according to his work? (Prov 24:11-12 NASB)
If you’re in the area, I would delight to seeing you this Sunday afternoon. Linda will have the Sunday School lesson and we’ll enjoy the word and fellowship together. Be loved, be blessed, and be a blessing.
A Constitutional Convention?
I will say the article linked below makes compelling arguments, but I think the danger outweighs the gains we might hope to make. Our constitution is what it is in part due to the character and careful consideration of those who wrote it. Do such men of character exist today? I believe the answer is “yes,” but I am not so sure enough of them are in government to make this a good idea. Though a convention may be called for specific purposes, there is nothing to prevent wholesale destruction of our founding document once the convention commences. We are not in a condition as a nation that would make this a good idea. We need revival first, then maybe we can talk about tweaking the Constitution.
5 Reasons Why a Constitutional Convention Is a Better Idea than Just Electing More Republicans.
Transforming Our Military
I’m too young for memories of Vietnam. My father entered Marine Corps boot camp when I was two years old, fully expecting to be sent into the war, but we were pulling out by the time he graduated. My grandfather was a veteran of World War II. I was raised with respect for the military. I was taught that the cause in Vietnam was just and the treatment of our returning soldiers despicable. If all I have to go on is the character and conduct of those who hold opinions today, I would have to conclude that I was taught correctly.
I respect our military today and I thank all of you who have served and still choose to do so today, but recent events trouble me. Could the time come when yesterday’s media constructed villain becomes real? We trust our military to fight for us in protection of our freedom. Might the day come when they fight against us to take it away?
Our military is being demoralized in every sense of the word. Pressure mounts to lower standards in order to put women in extreme combat situations. Homosexuality is sanctioned and protected. Religious expression, particularly if it’s Christian, is discriminated against. Its commander-in-chief has no respect for the law and seeks to shape it to his own purposes. How long can good men survive this environment? Why would they desire to do so? When they have been driven out, who will be left? What orders might they willingly follow?
Things have changed since Vietnam. Even though we may disagree about the rightness of the conflicts we have entered since that time, most of us at least give lip service to the idea that our brave men and women who put themselves in harm’s way for our benefit should be respected. But if we continue the way we are going, those of us who stand for righteousness in this country may find ourselves in fear of the military rather than in support of it. I pray that day never comes, because it will be a dark day indeed.
This Sunday, Know Your Enemy
I hope that I never lose the wonder that God has permitted me to take part in sharing of His word. I consider it an honor and an awesome responsibility. I never want to be found to misrepresent any of His truth. That’s why there are a lot of things I won’t say tomorrow, even though I believe they are true. I will speak only of what I know and can find written in His word.
Last week demons were mentioned at church, and I thought it might raise some questions. I want to share a little with you about the topics of Satan, demons, and spiritual warfare. I don’t really like to talk about that much because I don’t want to give Satan any glory. The first thing we all need to know about Satan is that he is already defeated. As a child of God, you should not fear him. Having said that, failure to acknowledge that we have an active enemy who wants to destroy us is foolishness.
Much has been written and speculated about Satan and his demons with scant scriptural support. We won’t spend much time on the speculation. What I do hope we will learn is something of what the scripture clearly shows us and what we should do with that knowledge. It would be a delight to have you with us tomorrow. We meet at 2:30, so you don’t even have to miss your own services. Come to Bartimaeus Baptist Temple , 6929 Day St. Dallas, TX 75227.
11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:11-12 NASB)
Jeremiah 29:11 Is Not About ‘You;’ Frequently-Quoted Bible Verse Often Misinterpreted
I’m sure it’s a point I’ve made before, but I see it all the time. You can even find lists of God’s promises cherry picked from throughout the scripture without regard to context. Certainly God is good. I don’t think it’s out of line to lay clame to a statement like the one in this passage if one is a child of God, but we can point to scripture that really does say that to us. We don’t need to go shoplifting. That said, we will not find anywhere in scripture that says we will be spared all suffering.
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” Christians quote Jeremiah 29:11 all the time, nearly as often as they quote John 3:16, but some apparently fail to understand the meaning of the Old Testament verse.
via Jeremiah 29:11 Is Not About ‘You;’ Frequently-Quoted Bible Verse Often Misinterpreted.