I did always want to write a song, but I’ve never taken the time to learn how to put the music in my head into notes on a page. I wrote this twelve years ago and people seemed to like it, but looking back at it now I’m almost ashamed to republish it. I used to think it was one of my best. I would call it a “poetic” testimony to God’s work in my life up to that point. It comforts me even now, reminding me that however low I feel at the moment God is not finished with me yet. So, I’ll go ahead and share it again.

I Wanted to Write a Song

I wanted to write a song.
A song of joy, peace, and security
I would sing of my Jesus.
Jesus loves me. This I know
for my daddy tells me so.

I wanted to write a song.
I sing of a time of questions.
I sing of a time of rebellion.
The song has many verses.
The song goes on and on.
A hated tune that sticks in the head and eats away like cancer:
Jesus loves me. Does He still?
Even if I shun His will?

I wanted to write a song.
A song of faith and sincere worship
I sing a song of hope.
I sing of love and duty.
I let the questions go.
Jesus loves me. This I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Jesus loves me if I pray
And serve Him each and every day.

I wanted to write a song.
A grand symphony!
Full of confidence and pride
Yet I write between the lines, a secret melody.
I see the cracks in your facade.
Are you really serving God?
Jesus loves me. Can’t you tell?
Because I serve Him very well

I wanted to write a song.
I scream in confusion and frustration.
I weep in loneliness and despair.
I asked my love, “why did you deceive me?”
I asked my God, “Why did you leave me?”
I asked myself, “Why did you fail me?”
Rage! Bottled up and released in explosions!
Released in private places where no one would see.
Jesus loves me. Do I know?
Is the Bible true, or no?

I wanted to write a song.
A tiny seed my daddy planted
Mercy that my God has granted
Its growth is slow
The pruning painful
Repentance is the early fruit.
Hope and faith bloom once again.
His love, it is my life.
A love I know I did not earn.
Its measure I cannot return.
Without it I’ve no wish to live.
With it I’m compelled to give.

I want to write a song.
Jesus loves me. This I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Jesus loves me. This I know.
In my heart, He tells me so.
Jesus loves you and I pray
That I will show you every day

I wanted to write a song.
I have no strength.
I wanted to write a song,
But my words were simplistic and inadequate.
I wanted to write a song
But You changed the words.
You held my hand.
You wrote upon my life.
You wanted to write the song,
And it will reach the heavens.
It will be beautiful.
It will glorify your name.
For you love me and you are God.
You love the world, and I will become an expression of yourself.
My God, do not allow me to take back the pen.
I will only write the old verses again.

I wanted to write a song…

© 1998 by Larry Thacker Jr.