The below paragraph is excerpted and modified from my prayer journal this morning. If you’re dropping in for the first time, this will make more sense when taken with previous entries. To provide minimal background, I am legally blind, my wife has Multiple Sclerosis. We attend a church that is designed to serve people with disabilities and we have founded our own organization to build more congregations that facilitate participation in ministry by everyone regardless of disability.

I can only do what I can with what I know, but I still can’t shake the idea that we should be bringing healing, not excuses and ways to make the best of life as it is. I know God uses evil for good, but should we then embrace the evil for the good He will do with it? If we ask that question with the word sin in it, few would ascent to it. Sickness or disability isn’t sin, but it’s still bad. Though we may thank God for using the bad for good, should we be thankful for the bad? It doesn’t compute for me.

I’ll keep doing what seems to be before me, but I can’t help wondering if we’re missing God’s best. I hesitate to even post this. I’ve wrestled with this question in my own life almost as long as I can remember. I was raised with all the scriptures. I don’t need to hear them again from self righteous children who have never had to live with these questions. Yet I write in the spirit of openness, desperately seeking an answer that makes everything fit together. Maybe I must wait until the Holy Spirit Himself chooses to enlighten me, and that might not be While I remain on the earth.