Here I am again. I hoped I had left this place forever, but here I am again. At least it’s familiar. It is like a room full of old memories, but they are not precious. Why must I keep them? Am I learning from them? I would burn it to the ground, but I would still be in it.
In front of me is a window facing the future, but no light comes through it. Curtains of confusion hang over it. Around me are pictures that show me why what could have been can never be.
My God, are You hear with me? You have taken me from this room. I have watched in wonder as You clean up the mess I made. I cannot doubt You even in the darkness. But here I am again.
I have seen Your hand of mercy. I am reaching for it now. But I cannot see it today. I am calling out to You. Find me. Save me from myself. Here I am again.